Beyond - Now and Forever

The Power of Now

Mindfulness

This is not to deny that you may encounter intense inner resistance to disidentifying from your pain.

In that case, unconscious fear of losing your identity will create strong resistance to any disidentification.

Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy.

Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it.

The resistance will cease if you make it conscious.

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The Observer Self

Quotes

Exercise greater consideration for other people’s existence, thoughts, and feelings.

When making requests, ask instead of giving orders or presuming that you know best. Awareness and vigilance are necessary here, for narcissists are often good at asking manipulatively to get what they want.

Ask not with leading but open questions. Give space for the other person to exercise free choice. Respect the choice, even if it’s not what you want every time.

A good way to measure is whether people are as happy after receiving what you deliver as when you initially promised, and whether they like your substance enough to repeat the interaction again.

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Eckhart Tolle

Quotes

When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.

If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.

We have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world has to offer.

Wherever you are, be there totally Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.

The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not 'the thinker'. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness is activated. You then realize there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that the things that truly matter -- beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace -- arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.

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Eckhart Tolle

Living in the present

Live in the present moment like you have chosen it

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.

Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

If you were truly conscious of it, the pattern would dissolve, for to want more pain is insanity, and nobody is consciously insane.

End the delusion of time. Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops — unless you choose to use it.

Firstly, because it is the only thing. It’s all there is. The eternal present is the space within which your whole life unfolds, the one factor that remains constant. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. Secondly, the Now is the only point that can take you beyond the limited confines of the mind. It is your only point of access into the timeless and formless realm of Being.

Since ancient times, spiritual masters of all traditions have pointed to the Now as the key to the spiritual dimension.

Suffering needs time; it cannot survive in the Now.

So, break the old pattern of present-moment denial and present-moment resistance. Make it your practice to withdraw attention from past and future whenever they are not needed.

Be present as the watcher of your mind — of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations.

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Acceptance

Not control

Nobody can even have an argument with you, no matter how hard he or she tries. You cannot have an argument with a fully conscious person. An argument implies identification with your mind and a mental position, as well as resistance and reaction to the other person's position.

To substitute acceptance for control is the solution. It will take all the drama away. Acceptance is power and control can always go array, things don’t go according to plan. But if we accept things the way they are then we have the true measure of things.

I think about how weak and reactionary control makes us in comparison to acceptance of what is – it is what it is and that’s it.

It is simply that we need to accept ourselves not control ourselves. When we do that all questions are answered. It is the root of dysfunction.

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Breakthroughs

Bipolar truths revealed.

The names changed but the pain remained the same.

People who are not allowed to work through their emotional issues develop mental illness. Bereavement and abuse are the principal causes of mental illness.

The addiction is gone and with it many wrong beliefs. This strengthens my universal philosophy so I can comfortably explore my fears.

Bipolar psychosis was my so-called telepathy.

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Prophetic

Truths revealed.

I am not afraid of bipolar anymore. That's like being afraid of myself. It doesn’t scare me.

The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.

Brian comes first because he is the first emotion of loss. Everything is layered on top of him. My predictions are based on that.

Childhood trauma is one of the most common types of trauma that can contribute to the development of narcissism. Childhood trauma can take many different forms, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, neglect, and abandonment.

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Narcissistic females

Everywhere

Dealing with a person who plays the victim. Never takes responsibility for her actions. It's exhausting to listen to her endless tales of woe. She refuses to change anything. She may be depressed or no confidence or self-esteem.

Listen with empathy, but don’t let yourself get involved into the drama. Not talking and not getting emotional will help.

Remember that her behavior is not real. It is just her way of getting pity or to justifying what she is saying.

Don’t volunteer to be her saviour. You won’t be able to change the situation because she enjoys playing the role of the victim and will not want to change anything

Set time boundaries. No more than 5 minutes. Put your needs first. Excuse yourself and leave.

Change the topic. Redirect the conversation to something more positive and neutral.

Never apologize.

Create distance. Take a break from the relationship.

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My struggle with my trauma

All my life

Born into a very religious home with many traumas I developed a co-narcissistic messanic style. I became my parents burden bearer.

I thought I was responsible for how everyone felt. I put my needs to one side adding to the messanic delusion.

I think I could say narcissism and co-narcissism are not personality traits. They are trauma related and inspired. Trauma accentuates the severity of the narcissism.

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The breakdown of association

Since 1982

Clares approach was let’s look at your parents. It is a psychological approach one she favoured. But my traumatic experience of death left me damaged and I couldn’t sort it out.

So the whole journey of my life has been to learn that lesson and go back until its learned and only then can I move forwards.

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